Your Driving Sucks

I admit it

I'm not a great driver

But I'm not as bad as you are

Learn to use a blinker

And get off your stupid phone

And maybe learn to turn on your headlights

And get the massive gouge taken out of your left tail light fixed

Because, guess what

Your previous mistakes

Don't signal to me that you're stopping

Or taking a left

Or doing anything other than being an irresponsible driver

Because, someday, I'm going to dissociate behind the wheel

And while muscle memory takes me home

You're going to run a red light

And destroy the driver's side of my Subaru

And, honestly, at that point, I won't mind

I'm suicidal

I'm ready to face god

Because, at the very least

I didn't drive like an asshole

And I think I get some points for that