brain dump 1.23.20

Well, it's a new year. I started this blog last year with the thought that I would use it very regularly...clearly I am full of shit and cannot be trusted.

But as I already said; it is a new year. With new energy that has me reinvigorated to actually try this thing one more time. Honestly I feel optimistic for the first time in a long time.

Last year was a lot for me; a trusted friend said some shitty things to me, and when I tried to prove them wrong I ended up with a lot of wasted time and had nothing to show for it. This culminated with someone I invited into my home telling me they were too good to play with me. I know right, what a dick head...(he actually referred to himself as a cock god, I shit you not)

But fuck all of them. This is literally the only thing that makes me feel whole. The only thing that fills the emptiness I feel inside when I am not doing it. Call it passion, call it an obsession, or call it a fantasy, I do not give a single shit.

I intend to write more; but it will not have structure and it will not have a theme. I will essentially use this space as a brain toilet to get all the shit out of my head in a more healthy way than bottling it up, or lashing out at unwitting victims.

Now I am gonna go play guitar.